 |
|
new entries | older entries | diaryland | aim |
|
find it Ghosts aren't the scariest things that can haunt you. They're just the most obvious. This used to be a pasture as big as freedom, clear on through to forever. But they keep on putting up fences, walls, buildings. You can't even see the horizon anymore. Our lungs are heavy, and we're all wheezing with the weight of what we've done. So self conscious. Don't look at me. This map is fucked. I'm tired of looking through this frame, I want to see behind it god dammit. We're not so brave these days. The trains have stopped running and the stations are growing over with vines. We only get word of the ourside world from strangers, and we believe every damn word they say. We don't look each other in the eyes anymore. Sometimes I catch strange eyes in a sideways glance and for some reason it feels oh so wrong. Why am I scared of you? We throw ourselves on couches, wishing we had someone we could talk to. We've convinced ourselves that the images we see in the looking glass are us. We're deluded. There are poisons running through our veins and we've willingly let our bodies atrophy. Thirty minutes of excercise, 23 and a half hours of rest, contemplating the uneasy feeling we've all got. A storm is brewing. Our true selves are buried alive, in mass graves somewhere over the Romanian border. We've forgotten all about them. It wasn't completely our choice, but we had a part in it. It was complicit. And that's why we cry in our basements, hidden away next to bellowing furnaces, wondering "what's wrong with me? I just don't understand." We're lost. The blind leading the seeing. The sea is getting rough, but there's no ship to jump, and lifejackets will only keep you alive for so long. If we can just make it to morning, if we can just see the sun again, I promise, I will listen to you this time. ----- - - 6:32 p.m. , January 29, 2005 personal empowerment - 9:48 p.m. , January 12, 2005 jaksdf - 7:22 p.m. , December 19, 2004 the break up - 11:08 p.m. , December 16, 2004 fists of rage - 6:28 p.m. , December 13, 2004 |