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the sad truth I used to be pissed off and idealistic, but now its getting more and more that I'm just pissed off. Disillusionment is a good thing. The breaking of illusions. Ok. The sadness of the middle class american is a very particular strain of sadness. In a commodified culture, the inhabitants become targets. Mutual concern is eliminated, and collective interest becomes a thing of the past. Essentially all people who are unknown to an individual are threatening to that individual, because at some level, they are competition. And inevitably it becomes more and more difficult to establish real connections with those the individual does know. Capitalism, being basically motivated by greed, perpetuates distrust between all people. In the endless search for, and accumulation of, material wealth that takes place, something is lost. There is a faint sense of the existence of something more, the residue of which is left over from a time before memory. But when that something has been lost since before you were born, and before your parents were born, and before anyone you have ever known, and ever will know was born, the recovery of that something seems impossible because it is difficult to ascertain even what that something is, let alone if it can be reclaimed so late in the game. At some point in american history we all became robots. We formed uncomplex outer shells that were reminiscent of a time when people were genuine, but transformed ourselves into machines, whose sole purpose seems to be to work for things we don't need. And on a larger scale, when a step back is taken, our purpose almost seems to be to destroy each other and ourselves. We forgot about something important and now we're too busy trying in vain to cram palm pilots and cell phones into the invisible holes where our souls used to be, to think about anything else. Even other people have become commodities. And we're trying to find in each other, what we've lost in ourselves. But its not working. So the majority of the population is becoming more and more depressed and instead of treating the problem, we treat the symptoms with anti-depressants and hope for the best. But pills are not going to make this go away. We've willingly locked ourselves into a prison complete with cable tv, fax machines, hi-tech computers, and high speed internet, and now surrounded by crap we don't need, all we can do is stumble around, confused, with a feeling we can't put words to or explain, and a vague notion of loss, and some ancient memory of something before, and wonder what's wrong. And out of fear, or conditioning, or lack of anything better, we continue exactly as we have been, popping pills, and hoping it will get better, because technology can do amazing things these days, and if we can send robots to mars, it's only a matter of time before they come up with a solution to whatever the hell it is we all seem to be feeling. Go back to your trance. ----- - - 6:32 p.m. , January 29, 2005 personal empowerment - 9:48 p.m. , January 12, 2005 jaksdf - 7:22 p.m. , December 19, 2004 the break up - 11:08 p.m. , December 16, 2004 fists of rage - 6:28 p.m. , December 13, 2004 |