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DEATH You can kiss your death on the mouth and let it sleep in your bed, or you can throw it out of the house and tell it you wish it was dead, but neither will change the inevitable. Living with a gun to your head, there are two paths you can choose, fear, or acceptance, that one day the trigger is going to be pulled and that's the end of what you know. I've been sleepy a lot lately, and it probably has to do with the late nights, but it bothers me because if I'm awake and thinking about sleep it means something is definitely being taken for granted. And that's not okay. Death has been floating through my head a lot. SO many people are dying. And maybe that's not a bad thing because I don't know what happens, maybe its all a test, a big game, who knows. But its unnerving. And with all the talk about death, I'm starting to think that I don't actually believe I'm ever going to die. No matter how much I tell myself otherwise, I don't think I'm going to believe it until its happening. What a strange existence. Things are okay. I have no complaints. There is nothing I am unhappy about. But somehow that doesn't mean I'm happy either. I have not been productive in the ways I would like to be these last few weeks. Something must change. ----- - - 6:32 p.m. , January 29, 2005 personal empowerment - 9:48 p.m. , January 12, 2005 jaksdf - 7:22 p.m. , December 19, 2004 the break up - 11:08 p.m. , December 16, 2004 fists of rage - 6:28 p.m. , December 13, 2004 |