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the days Life is just a big game of Risk™ and my armies have finally captured Kamchatka. Suckers. But the blue armies are advancing and threatening to take Western Europe, damn those blue hordes, damn them to hell. Jesus Christ it's been a long day. It has been hugs, and sun, and storm clouds, and rainy roads, and desperate phone calls, and reckless driving, and dead plants, and smiles and laughs and frowns and tears, and lobster dinners and chocolate cake, and fighting cousins and dying grandmas and wonderful, incredible strong, loving, amazing moms and aunts, and long talks, and things that needed to be said, and forehead kisses, and morphine, and $238.00, and exploding sunsets that looked like God himself, and love, so much love, and finally getting through to the real in people, and struggle and frustration and helplessness and lots of wishing, and listening, and cigarette smoke, and reclining chairs, and apartment buildings, and folk music, and feeling my heart beating, and hoping and wondering and consoling, and bridge tolls, and fish markets, and nighttime, and headlights, and road rage, and diners, and much needed late night coffee with a really really good friend until 3 in the morning, and sighs of relief and exhasperation and everything in between because the world exists and it is the way it is and there's nothing I can do about it whether I like it or not, and not knowing if I'm happy or sad, and not knowing how I'm supposed to feel and having no clue how to figure it out, and not caring anyway, and feeling very alive, and being home in the middle of the night, and writing this, and sleeping on couches. I wish I could snuggle with you right now. ----- - - 6:32 p.m. , January 29, 2005 personal empowerment - 9:48 p.m. , January 12, 2005 jaksdf - 7:22 p.m. , December 19, 2004 the break up - 11:08 p.m. , December 16, 2004 fists of rage - 6:28 p.m. , December 13, 2004 |