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the sad truth Rah! Full of surrogate emotions miles and ages from friendly faces. When I buy two pairs of pants and four shirts that the me I know would never buy, and a fifth of whiskey, and a pack of marlboros, and I spend all night fucking a stranger whose name I will never bother to get, and drive 700 miles at dawn to New York City or Baton Rouge or Rockford, still a bit drunk and full of rage and tears and searching the stereo for the song that will turn me into the person I've always been trying to be, I will laugh bitter laughter into the first moments of the sunrise the way you laugh when you ask your first love to leave her husband, sitting on the front lawn like a child, because the feelings are just too much and the words won't come and all you find yourself able to do is pull up blades of grass and say the beginnings of sentences but not the ends and wonder why the fuck love doesn't win out in the end. The question comes down to why we are taught the opposite of the truth. So I find myself in a north carolina attic, wishing I was a drug addict in a Los Angeles basement, like an old time cowboy, shooting my way out of every bad situation. But there just doesn't seem to be any way to shoot myself out of this one. The curse always comes when you think of yourself as a good person, because frankly good people aren't interesting unless they are pulling survivors out of burning buildings, and it just doesn't count if you set the fire yourself. Oh what became of the opium dens and the coke palaces? All the spiral bound notebooks in the world will not turn this one around. So in the sunrise, give the hungover heroes their due, because the glamour dissapates quickly in the first rays of the sun, and whether you agree with the way of life is irrelevant because it takes more heart to drink yourself to death than it does to television yourself to death, so save your judgements for church and your internet message boards, I've heard enough. ----- the sad truth - 6:46 a.m. , January 01, 1970 in case you were wondering - 10:33 a.m. , July 04, 2006 in case you were wondering - 10:33 a.m. , July 04, 2006 dont call it a comeback - 11:17 p.m. , January 19, 2006 the enlightened ones - 11:16 a.m. , February 19, 2040 |